If only I could cry…


I don’t have a idea when was the last time I could cry, when a tear left my eyes. It’s not that I had great days and I was always happy, I would say it was rather the opposite. In spite of being sad I couldn’t cry. There have been situations when I felt my heart being crushed by something, the pain was so intense that I wish my heart was not there in the first place, and I can say now what a “heartbroken” feels like. The times it felt like shouting out aloud and running and running until I’m tired and exhausted enough to fell asleep, but if only I could cry it would have been easy. I could do nothing as always I had me to myself, the best I did was surrounded myself with as many pillow as I could find and would let the rage, anger, grief drain somewhere in my heart and soul.

I have been kicked and rejected by life so often that I don’t need even that comfort now, it’s just whole pain finds its way to the heart, remains there for few minutes and escape as like nothing as ever happened that’s how I have been living. I don’t know what I have is good or bad, but it’s then like sometimes I can feel and sometimes all of sudden my body finds a switch to restart. It’s been a habit now the irony is that I can easily smile now.

I wish if only I could cry.

Pushpendra Singh


3 thoughts on “If only I could cry…

Add yours

  1. Very melancholy piece. Just want to mention, although you might already know, that not being able to cry even when you are very sad can sometimes be a sign of depression. If things are really hard emotionally and you are having a lot of trouble getting out maybe consider seeing someone. I wish you the best of luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello Friend, I am a person who used to have the same problem. All I want to say is that the moment you suppress you emotions, it starts the timer on a bomb. The longer you suppress it the stronger it gets.
    I am a motivational speaker and one day wish to change our world.
    And It would mean a lot tome if you visit my blog. I am absolutely sure it can help you.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: